RFK Jr. Calls for Shirtless Debate With Joe Biden
Los Angeles, CA – Robert Kennedy Jr. today in a changing tactic called for a shirtless debate with Joe Biden. The announcement was made in a short video released on social media opening with the candidate finishing a set of push ups under the open LA sun.
“Ten pushups. I can do more, that is just the last rep. I have to ask the parents across America, have you seen president Biden do pushups? Do you think old Joe looks this good without a shirt? Well today I call on Joe Biden to debate me shirtless. Won’t do it? What is he hiding? Can you trust a president so elite that he wears fancy clothing such as shirts?”
RFK Jr.’s chief campaign manager, Dennis Kucinich wholeheartedly backed this campaign tactic. While taking questions he had this to say.
“Look, you have a candidate who suffers from the fact that everyone who listens to him immediately thinks he is a crazy kook. RFK Jr. cannot stop talking about vaccine conspiracy theories, giving a throne to Putin, or abducting extraterrestrials to see how they like it. The less time people spend listening to him and the more time they spend looking at his fine sunburned pecks, the better.”
This advice seems to hold up to polling. A recent focus group polled participants who watched RFK Jr. give the same speech with and without a shirt and quizzed them on word association. Those participants who saw RFK Jr. give a speech with no shirt thought of him as “sunburnt.” Meanwhile those participants who listened to him give a speech while wearing a shirt gave the word association of “antisemitic.”
Pollster Jim Ratfield believes this tactic has the possibility of revitalizing his campaign. He outlined the ways it may help him stand out.
“Republicans have been claiming that Biden cannot be president for years despite his numerous legislative accomplishments, strong foreign policy, and astounding economic success. It gave them no traction and campaigning to the right of Trump while blaming all problems on the Jews is a message that does not resonate well in the Democratic Primary. Working out and constantly posting pictures of yourself shirtless, this is new and this may be a path to higher approval rating.”
Although unclear how independent voters will respond it resonates well among his own supporters. We sat down with RFK Jr. supporter and anti-pharmaceutical activist Terry Remington.
“This campaign is a blessing to all parents who fear their sons and daughters may grow up to be nerds. With Biden drug companies have been able to push their vaccines to impressionable kids who may not understand they could grow into autistic adults. Many of those autistic adults often become scientists who in turn create vaccines which are administered to kids. It is a never-ending cycle allowing the dark pharmaceutical companies to create a race of American nerds. Robert Kennedy Jr. wishes to end this cycle and is a gift to any parent who wished their child could become a football star or cheerleader but watched helplessly as their kids pick up books and reading glasses.”
When asked about the shirtless debate challenge during his press briefing the president had this to say. “Does any journalist actually care about the broadband for rural America connection act? It’s a nine-billion-dollar bill aimed at bringing often forgotten Americas to the information age. Has anyone heard a word I have said?”
