“Most strikingly Biden is down a full 17 points to a Nikki Haley who is pro-choice, pro-union, and understands the civil war” said pollster Dave Hanna. “Sure, that candidate only exists in the mind of the voters but it should worry Democrats how easily the presidency could be taken from them.”

“In today’s political environment it is not surprising that Dark Lord Brandon may have made such a demand. What is surprising is that he has called on the Republican Party to provide the virgin sacrifice. This shows a level of confidence that Dark Brandon would not have exhibited one year early” explained Abaris the Hyperborean, oracle and soothsayer, expert in all matters Dark Brandon.

“Pulling all-nighters to expand our international relationships for the sake of peace and stability is not a job for an 80-year-old man” said Peter Doocy of Fox News. “Joe Biden successfully did all of that, which is a sure-fire demonstration of the fact he is too old for the job.”

“As Americans we are so pathetic, so bad, so terrible that as a nation that we must stop helping Ukraine, we must sell Taiwan to China, and we must invade Mexico” yelled DeSantis.