If you are Black in Today’s Republican Party You Have to be Twice the Psychopath as Your White Counterparts to get Any Attention -Tim Scott

Hi, I am Tim Scott, the Republican senator from South Carolina. As you may know my electoral opponents have considered me tough and unbeatable in the state of South Carolina. I won reelection in 2022 with 8% more of the vote than Donald Trump in what was not a strong year for the Republican Party. Democrats fear me and I am currently running for president of the United States.

I am your run of the mill Republican. Trump’s tax cuts are my bread and butter, I am willing to blame immigrants for everything, pardon any violent right wing criminal Trump wants, claim I can snap my finger to make inflation disappear, and make pregnant women property of the state. So why can’t I get any attention?

I have to be twice the psychopath as my Republican counterparts and none of them will give me the time of day. It has gotten so bad I had to claim I would eliminate all union members from the work force, and claim that Joe Biden trained Hamas fighters to attack Israel, just to see my name in the papers.

You might say, well look at Vivek Ramaswamy, he has gotten lots of news press and he a person of color. That proves my point. During the Republican debate Vivek Ramaswamy advocated for an invasion of Mexico live on national t.v. Vivek Ramaswamy has also gone as far claiming he would deport his parents, get rid of young voters, and sell the rights to invade Taiwan to the highest bidder. Vivek Ramaswamy got his news press for being thrice the psychopath as most white Republicans and it left me in the dust, vainly trying to remind Republicans that I can promote insurrections too.

The problem has gotten so bad my mega wealthy donors have tried to get involved. They have pointed out that Lindsey Graham and I have made South Carolina a hot bed of unmarried US senators, a reputation the state is not proud of. It has raised a lot of questions, the kind about who I like, ones I am not going to answer. My big donors have suggested a strong sexual harassment scandal may put those concerns to rest while giving me arm loads of media attention and some bona fide conservative credentials, after all it worked for Matt Gaetz, Majorie-Taylor Greene, Laura Boebert, Jim Jordan, and Donald Trump. why not me? They say a sex scandal with a woman would put certain questions to rest. My donors say they can set up plenty of women for the scandal, provided it is not one of their white daughters, then it would make it clear “I am not one of those, if you know what I mean.” The problem is, there have been so many things suggested that I do not know which one they mean.

Unfortunately, it just is not my style. Maybe being only as psychopathic as a white Republican means no one will notice me. Maybe I can claim Biden is performing gay Satan worship with the Ayatollah, or maybe I have to accept it is my fate to be overlooked in the Republican Primary. I can accept it, remembering it is not the worst thing Republicans have done to a black man.