Tinder Suggests Checking if Your Match is a GOP Member of Congress Before Going on First Date
Due to a torrent of recent complaints of inappropriate behavior, Tinder’s team is highly encouraging its users to do a simple Google search or Instagram check if their matches are GOP members of congress before meeting up with them.
“If you want to get a judgment free hand job in a theater, we suggest knowing at least a little bit about the person you are going out with,” said Tinder CEO Renate Nyborg. “Tinder encourages second base on dates, regardless of political affiliation, and our users shouldn’t have to be blasted on the internet for their affairs.”
While Tinder does not have a section for political preference, you can still add your beliefs in your bio. Understanding context clues is also crucial. Tinder says to be cautious of profiles that feature American flag emojis, men with military-style buzzcuts, and men with pictures of their truck. They also recommend high caution if said truck has “truck nuts” hanging from the rear bumper.
But listen, it is quite simple: if you view the Instagram account connected to your date’s Tinder profile and their infant child is holding an AR-15 in front of a Christmas tree, there is a good chance they could be a member of the GOP Freedom Caucus. If your date has blue hair and all of their teeth, there is a good chance they are NOT a member of the GOP Freedom Caucus.
When asked about Rep. Boebert’s (R-CO) recent comments regarding vetting her dates based on their political parties from this point forward, Nyborg said “we also encourage everyone to make sure their date is not Lauren Boebert, specifically.”
We spoke to a 19 year old girl (who requested anonymity for her own safety) that detailed her own harrowing experience. While meeting up with a Tinder match, she discovered that her date was not who she expected. “I really regret ignoring the red flags,” she said. “I should have known by the five pictures of him holding fish on his profile that he was, indeed, a GOP member of congress. Yet I went on the date, and I got filibustered for two hours straight. The fact that blocking me from being the speaker was the only thing he knew how to do set off alarms and sure enough I found his picture as a member of the House Freedom Caucus.”
Tinder has been ramping up its marketing campaigns lately and has been keen on eliminating other app competition. They are aware that other apps can be preferred by conservatives, but recommend branching out for a better experience. “Tinder is meant to bring together like-minded people with real connections and we obviously welcome people across all political spectrums. We understand that GOP men generally prefer the anonymity of gay sex sites like Grindr but we encourage them to give Tinder a try for longer lasting relationships.”
We reached out to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) for comment and he said, “I don’t know what Grindr is but if I did have it on my phone it would be completely by accident and I don’t know how all the messages got there nor do I know Marco in West Hollywood.” Very interesting.
