Elections Found to be Poor Predictors of Polls
Arlington, VA – In a disturbing trend for news agencies everywhere, recent election data has found that elections are increasingly unable to predict polling trends across the nation. This point was emphasized recently in Virginia where Democratic victories failed to predict media messaging of a resurgent MAGA popularity.
“This is a major problem and elections need to start getting in line with the messaging,” said CNN anchor John Prada. “The election has once again failed our polling predictor, which stated stated Americans view Democrats as hapless and are likely to accept extreme Republican positions. It was so frustrating, we had to spend twice the amount of time discussing polls on election night so that Americans were not thrown off by their own voting patterns.”
“If it was just one election, we could forgive this incident,” said Newsmax host and former Senator Rick Santorum. “Yet it was every election. Earlier in the year, Wisconsin voted in a landslide for a liberal Supreme Court justice wishing to implement democracy in Wisconsin. Likewise, the deep red state of Kentucky voted for a pro-choice, pro-worker governor while Ohio seemed to believe freedom was having a choice in the decisions that make up your life. Do any of these voters understand what damage they are doing to our poor pollsters?”
Recent elections are not the only place where the electorate is becoming a poor predictor of polls. The disturbing habit found its way on the floor of Congress where Republican turmoil in choosing a house speaker defied numerous headlines declaring Democrats in disarray. Likewise, economic growth continually remains better under Democrats than Republicans despite polls believing the opposite, and crime remains lower in blue states than red states despite tough-on-black people rhetoric coming from the Republican Party. When asked about the poor performance of elections following polls the president dismissed the whole issue as media bias.
“I am leading in 8 out of 10 polls despite off year elections being the worse time for incumbents,” said president Joe Biden. “Yet guess where the media wishes to focus. Now are you ready for 2024?”
