No One Would Know I Committed A War Crime If I Did Not Feel the Need To Brag About It -Elon Musk
Of the many great indignities I have suffered in this life, one of the greatest is that no one has known I committed a war crime. This war crime was so crafty, so well executed, that it stayed a secret. How ghastly! I never got credit for my genius. It has weighed in my mind so greatly that I finally had to blurt it out for fear no one would know of my ingenious deed!
As you have no doubt heard, I sabotaged the Ukrainian counter offensive that might have crippled the Russian navy. It was early in the invasion, so early that Russia was not ready for the war. The Russians were innocent bystanders who had invaded a country completely unaware there might be combat. Did those Ukrainians act like gentlemen, surrender to the warrior race, and line up to be genocided in a peaceful fashion as Putin had ordered? No, they shot at these poor unsuspecting and often undefended invaders who were merely trying to replace the inhabitants of Ukraine with their own. All that violence and bloodshed could have been solved with Putin’s peace offering of annexation and unconditional surrender.
When I knew Starlink was going to be used to help a country defend itself I had to stop it. This was not the purpose of Starlink. I created it so I could Netflix and chill with hot babes on remote desert islands because why should Jeffery Epstein have all the fun? Someone needed to carry the tradition on. Now, I am being coerced to use it to defend freedom and democracy from authoritarianism? The evil US government thinks it should be able to use it for good just because they paid for and created all of these technologies. The tyranny I tell you!
Thankfully, I bought the Russians some time. When Ukrainian drones were headed to attack the Russian navy, I turned off the communication pathways causing all the drones to fall harmlessly into the ocean. It saved a large section of the Russian navy from total destruction. They were able to recoup, realign and bomb nearby cities that resisted their invasion all thanks to me.
A lot of you might be shocked by my revelation, thinking now that I talked won’t someone try to punish me? Well, that is the beautiful thing about my genius. You see I have one political party willing to gum up everything for me. This political party is so well wrapped around my finger that they are lining up to kiss the penises of Nazis to be anointed in their primary. As long as they hold one branch of government, or one branch of the legislature, then nothing will ever happen to me. Right now, they hold congress and the supreme court. Impressive you might say? You betcha, did you know Nazis weren’t even allowed Twitter just one year ago?
What do you think is going to be done? Nothing. I have been announcing my actions publicly every day for a year and the lib cucks that want to stop me still cannot stop using my site.
