George Santos Expelled for “Unchristianlike” Behavior at GOP Orgy

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) was recently expelled by congress. He now holds the highly coveted title of being the first Republican to ever be removed from the house. An unprecedented 105 Republicans crossed the aisle for the bipartisan expulsion vote. With lying, conniving, immoral behavior and law-breaking being daily occurrences within the GOP, Seahorse Shoe was dying to know what instance finally pushed the Republicans to vote against a member of their own party. It turns out, Santos was getting a little too freaky at the parties orgies.

After leaving congress, both Santos and former Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) confirmed of the GOP party’s freaky sweat filled orgies. We dressed one of our reporters in a bandana, a pair of cowboy boots, and Wrangler jeans and had him infiltrate one of these elusive D.C. orgies. The discoveries were shocking!

“Santos was disrespectful at these parties,” said Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ). “He always tried to go knuckle-deep when the rule was just the tip. As we are all heterosexual men, myself and other GOP members did not appreciate this very much.”

During an undercover fellatio session, Rep. Alex Mooney (R-WV) was asked about Santos. After removing a “member” from his mouth, Rep. Mooney looked up and said, “miss me with that gay shit” before resuming his duties.

“We just cannot have an actual homosexual in the GOP,” said Rep. Scott Perry (R-PA) as he dried himself off in the sauna. “It makes us look so bad even though we tried to be more inclusive.