Out of Touch President More Interested in Drug Price Negotiation Than Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour
Washington, DC – The exasperated White House Press Corps expressed dismay at president Joe Biden as they continued their attempts at White House coverage. The scene turned dismal Monday as president Biden went to discuss his program for drug price negotiation, instead of more exciting topics, such as Taylor Swift’s hit weekend release of the movie Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour.
“Ten drugs used to treat and prevent blood clots, diabetes, and arthritis among others have come to the table for negotiations. This aims to bring down the cost of care for the elderly, putting more money into the pockets of Americans, while increasing savings for the government. Despite not garnering a single vote from Republicans it is happening, it is exciting, and you should tell your audience about this great development!”
The president referred to the success of the new drug price negotiation board within Medicare, created under the inflation reduction act (IRA). However, the success of the program remains unexciting to many in the press corps itself.
“How dare the president tell us what our audience wants,” said Washington Examiner reporter Rex Small. “Many of our readers are still picking up their newspaper and calling when it is not delivered promptly by 6 AM. Do you think they would go to this much effort for our paper, if we discussed how the government effects their drug prices. Boring! Especially when Taylor Swift’s Eras tour continues with an opening weekend blast at box offices!”
Despite groans from the audience the president continued with his press briefing unabated. He showed off his knowledge of the drugs, their uses, and price reductions. He even went so far as to brag, claiming Trump promised this goal but never followed through, while Obama tried but did not succeed. During the boring lecture he never once mentioned Taylor Swift’s opening night box office smash or if he was planning on purchasing tickets to her show.
“We tried to spice up the press briefing” said Geoffry Johnson of the San Francisco Chronicle. “I asked him what he thought of Taylor Swift and football star Travis Kelce. All he said was ‘seems like they make a great couple.’ That is all he gave us! We would never be left with so little material under Trump. If Trump was president, he would complain football is not manly enough if your players date liberal women, or maybe he would amplify some qanon conspiracy theory claiming Taylor Swift is now infertile after sleeping with a spokesman for the vaccine industry. Those are reactions our audience could dig their teeth into. With Biden, I get the impression he spent all his time studying the details of the negotiation plan and no time listening to Midnights, or trolling around Twitter, before this press conference. This never would have happened with Trump in office!”
When reached for comment Taylor Swift seemed surprisingly sympathetic to a president not tuning into her music. “To be honest that is ok with me. We elected Biden to improve Medicare coverage, not the Eras tour. His endorsement would hardly impact my box office numbers anyways.” When asked if Taylor Swift would be curious to hear the riveting and possibly inflammatory statements Trump would make on her, she was indigent, refusing to play ball with the press, merely stating “no.”
