After Hurricane, Putin Tells America to Send Their Javelins and Kamikaze Drones to Florida
Putin calling for the sending of Ukrainian fighter drones to Florida
Moscow, RU – After hurricane Idalia passed, Putin called for the military aid in Ukraine to be sent to Florida to support hurricane recovery.
“After horrendous event US must send its aide to Florida. This means the Javelin anti-tank missiles, the stinger air defense systems, and the kamikaze drones. All of this would be better suited in the sunshine state than right here on our borders,” read the statement. “Weapons no good here, Ukrainians should leave blowing up of kremlin officials to us. Ukrainians not know how or when to blow up kremlin officials. Kremlin officials blow up just fine without Ukrainians.”
The incident referred to Lt. Colonel Alexey Ch., a high-ranking military officer killed in a drone attack in Russia. The incident might not have raised alarm as kremlin officers are frequently falling out of windows, accidently ingesting radioactive elements, or spontaneously combusting as a normal hazard of the job. However, this one appears to be different as accidents are uncommon for Putin’s close allies.
Putin’s statement was amplified across conservative social media with many Republicans concurring. Leading the charge is Matt Gaetz R-Fl, who got on tv to air his position.
“America is too frail to continue its success in upending one of the worst dictatorships on the globe. The money could be better spent giving guns to Maui, or investigating Hunter Biden nudes, both of which have been neglected by the president for far too long.”
In response president Joe Biden said “there is no reason why we cannot do both. We can help those Americans suffering the effects of climate change while also supporting our allies who have seen their freedom put under threat from an evil dictatorship. Republicans asking us to abandon our allies in tough times do not understand the implications of what we are dealing with for the world or our economy.”
Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been the one vocal point of dissent on hurricane aid to Florida. He has claimed they have everything under control and that whatever Biden does he insisted he would not be seen anywhere near the president.
“My campaign slogan is to make America Florida, not to make Florida America. Besides, our state has more privately owned anti-tank missiles per capita than the rest of the nation. If Joe Biden wants to help America with his foreign aid, he should send those Javelin missiles to the liberal hell hole of San Francisco to keep the homeless in check.”
White house press secretary Karine Jean-pierre responded claiming “Ron DeSantis insistence on keeping Biden out of Florida is solely about optics. Republicans are letting politics get in the way of the good of our nation. They fear Biden being in front of the cameras as they are continually projecting an image of Biden that does not match reality.”
The statements appeared to reflect accuracy. Biden appeared over the weekend in Florida nd whenever he was thanked, or whenever he spoke, Fox News would lose feed to the event. Last visit to Florida Biden was photographed laughing with people effected by the hurricane while DeSantis was seen moping alone, unable to converse with his own constituents. Since then, the guidance from right wing media is that the best thing for the DeSantis campaign is to keep DeSantis away from the cameras by any means possible.
