After Poor Debate Performance Republicans Should Drop Trump and Find a New Antichrist

After his horrendous performance on the debate floor Seahorseshoe calls on the Republican Party to remove Donald Trump from the race and replace him with a new, younger, and more energetic Antichrist. The Antichrist is a demanding job and many evangelists are now asking if Trump is up to the task. Republicans need someone who young Christians can look up to and say “yes, that is someone I can sell my soul to.”

It has become a problem; older evangelicals are fine risking eternal damnation for Donald Trump in hopes of bringing about the end of times. Yet many younger Christians may be looking to Harris, who’s hip Tik-Tok videos and comprehensive policy promises a future where the world is not burned in a fiery rapture. One where people of all races and social classes get together and build a better future for all.

If Republicans want to avoid this world, they must find themselves a new candidate immediately. JD Vance won’t fit the bill. His closeness to the financial sector may make him a capable Antichrist but he is too unpopular, and too inarticulate to be a viable candidate. They need someone hip, like attempted politician Vivek Ramaswamy or abstinence promoter Tim Pool.

One thing is for sure. With only two months before the election Republicans have no time to spare. Joe Biden’s poor debate performance became front page news for a month straight, with no other stories deemed worthy of being covered. We can only assume the same is happening to Trump.