The Seahorse Shoe
Your Only Source of Aquatic Non-Erotic Fake News

In Attempt to Reach Middle Ground Forward Party Suggests Jews be Allowed to Exist If They Do Not Own Media
“The left wants Jews to live freely, while the right wants to eliminate Judaism. So, a compromise should be made.”

White House Press Corps Nervous as Dark Brandon Obtains 5th Dark Orb
It is unsure how Dark Brandon may have obtained the 5th dark orb but some point to the battle between the dark lord and Ticketmaster. The popular ticket sales company recently handed the president a win promising to put all fees and accurate ticket pricing up front, eliminating hidden fees.

Locally Advertised Orgy Actually Just Three Men Playing Magic: The Gathering
We were halfway into setting up the dungeon when Tony claimed he had a new deck featuring Atraxa, Praetor’s Voice as his legendary creature. Well, I said get out of here because Tony never makes multicolored decks.

RFK Jr. Calls for Shirtless Debate With Joe Biden
Look, you have a candidate who suffers from the fact that everyone who listens to him immediately thinks he is a crazy kook. The less time people spend listening to him and the more time they spend looking at his sunburned pecks, the better